It Can't Happen
by Crazee Canadia
Summary: oOoWalGi, don't approve, don't readoOo It happens once a month, they go out and see each other. The result every time, though, is different. Drabble-y oneshot, and yes Canadia is about dead on this site.


Let the truth come out, be it an honest truth that seems like it could be a complete and total lie.

The issue with Waluigi being completely and totally heartless to Luigi seems to be an ongoing problem. Luigi seems to wish he could fix it, with all of his power, but he knows that he can't. So he sits there and deals with the bullying, snide comments, and even the abuse that sometimes ends with him walking away a victor of a park fight.

All of this seems to amuse Waluigi, so he keeps doing it. He gets a kick out of seeing Luigi bite his cheek while trying to look like words didn't hurt him. He adores how Luigi weakly throws punches, but regrets making a comment whenever Luigi is stomping on him and is surely leaving shoe print bruises.

It all comes down to Waluigi trying to best Luigi at everything, which so far he's only won at a tennis match. Everything else Luigi _definitely_ cheated at to win. Only Waluigi is allowed to cheat, dang it!

Once a month though, it is like the personality of Waluigi slaps him across the face and marches away, leaving him with some strange character that looks like him and sounds like him. But it isn't him, he knows it. Maybe it's because he's getting older (he swore he saw a white hair the other day), and he knows that treating Luigi like a leaf in the fall is somewhat morbid.

Luigi himself also follows a monthly ritual. Usually whenever Daisy is grumpy and won't even have a quick conversation on the phone is when he does it. He locks himself in his room, drags a chair over to the window, and admires the scenery and the birds – thinking about whatever he wanders to.

It is scary, but it ends with Waluigi, how he wished the man would grow up and treat Luigi with respect. How he wished he'd lose that stupid charm he had, he wished he'd lose that pose that made him stiffen up with admiration –

No. He doesn't have a crush on Waluigi, that'd be stupid.

Like sleepwalking, though, it happens on the last night of the month. Luigi sneaks out without waking Mario, for no reason, to go stand somewhere where there is at least a continuous sound. Be it the river that rushed a few miles away. Or maybe stand near the pipe that leads to the town and listen to crickets chirp.

Either place is calming enough

Waluigi, on the other hand, lets his insomnia strongly convince him to go for a walk. He doesn't know why, he hates walking. It hurts his legs, from the ankles up.

Somehow, the two meet up at a random place that is in walking distance for both of them. Luigi usually stills up first, ready for a fight; Waluigi stops walking to stare at his rival.

The tension softens, and Waluigi usually spits out a hurried and confusing apology about the treatment he'd given in the past month. Luigi takes a minute to translate it, accepting the apology. It takes a lot of guts to even get half of the word sorry out of Waluigi, so he must mean it.

Luigi stands there, and Waluigi walks closer slowly – as if Luigi is an animal he doesn't want to scare off. The taller usually gets a yard away before Luigi gains the out of character bravery to pop off a rude comment that would surely make Waluigi cringe. It's a relaxing massage for his soul, he finds.

But the answer is usually a question on how he could work on fixing the issue presented in the comment, not a comment or a scoff that shows no care at all.

It is like Waluigi wants to be better for Luigi.

With sigh, or a smile, Luigi calmly explains what could change, ending with his eyes narrowing and him adding, "Like you would even try that." Before he turns on his heel and starts to walk away.

Waluigi doesn't use much energy to take large paces forward and grab Luigi's shoulder. He yanks the other around so they face each other, Luigi suddenly starting to cower in belief that this is a fight.

Hands hold his head in place, Luigi is staring right back up at the face of his rival – which he usually spits or stomps – somehow letting his guard down and relaxing.

Every time, every month, Waluigi had noticed, whenever he held Luigi's face still, there was always some form of light brightening his eyes. He hates to say it, but Luigi has some insanely attractive blue eyes, and light only enhanced that look.

This is when the part you would never think could occur, happens.

Waluigi goes from squatting to completely on his knees, which makes him just the right height with Luigi. He lifts the other's head up a little higher, causing the shorter to stiffen up again.

This part Luigi wishes Waluigi wouldn't be so bipolar about. Every time he brings his head in slower then death for a kiss – as disturbing as it seems. It takes Waluigi five minutes just to get just a small space in between his and Luigi's faces, almost every time something happens.

Waluigi sometimes chickens out, returning to his own self and saying something rude – stuttering over it as he stands up and quickly goes striding back home. Luigi does the same, only upset over not getting a kiss – what? No, that's not it.

_OK he'll admit it, it is._

Sometimes, they'll hear what they think is someone watching them. They hear a car coming, or hear a twig snap. Quickly – as if they don't want to be arrested for this thing – they rush away from each other, nothing else said.

One third of the time, Luigi is the one who freaks out. Right when he feels Waluigi's face hover over his he throws his hands up, grabbing Waluigi's and throwing them so that his face is no longer held in place before jogging off. Occasionally, the night follows with a wet dream that Luigi surely hates ever having. But he deserves it, seeing as how he left a disappointed Waluigi behind.

That one sixth of the time is the percent where they actually stand there. They forget they hate each other, forget they fight a lot. Right when they're in each other's faces, Waluigi smashes his lips against Luigi's in the worst possible kissing way ever. Luigi fixes it though, relaxing and wrapping his arms around Waluigi's neck.

It's a sloppy kiss, an awkward making-out time. Five minutes in, they've had enough. They remember they hate each other, and break away rapidly. They walk away from each other, not wasting any time at all.

But their lips burn from where they kissed, Waluigi suddenly misses the taste of Luigi's spearmint breath, and Luigi wants that warmth again.

But they are rivals.

They hate each other.

So the romance they want can't happen.

* * *

><p><strong>**Another story from my private WalGi story collection. I think it was pretty good, for being typed at midnight. That always seems to be the best time for me to write a story, when I'm half asleep. **<strong>


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